Outer Space Neurocam Agent
In the meantime I feel a very important Neuronews update needed on behalf of our NeuroAgent, that's NeuroAgent not NeuroticAgent............
A4 was brought by aliens from outerspace............
Neurocam has recruited operatives from other worldly planets to convey simple messages across the world on behalf of its Organization....
An interview with one such agent was carried out on Agent Blabbers behalf due to his illness, our replacement agent "who does not wished to be named for security reasons" set up the interview with Neurocams Outer Space Agent.
Agent Anon: What is your name?
Outer Space Neurocam Agent : Our names would be impossible for you earthlings to pronounce, so we take names from Marvel Comics and grade B outer space movies.
AA: Is that how you look in real life (see picture above)?
OSNA: I do not have a physical body. I am currently inhabiting the body of some fat slob couch potato I found sitting at his computer. I don't like it in here. He was in the process of downloading porn and swilling down beer when I took over his body.
AA: What information have you been researching on behalf of Neurocam?
OSNA: We have many helpful hints for your planet.
AA: For example?
OSNA: We have brought you technology which will enable you to resist the mind control rays from the HAARP Antenna, and other forms of government mind control, like TV. Our patented HAARP Antenna Neutralizer is guaranteed to block out mind-controlling rays, or your money back!
AA: Do you know anythng about Compound H67 T commonly called THE BROWNIE?
OSNA: We have figured out a way to get psychiatric patients to be more compliant with taking their medications. Simply give the drugs an outer space sounding name, like "Serenion", "Ulterian" etc. Tell the patient it is a Pleiadian drug. They'll gobble them right up, and stop all that annoying babbling. On my planet, we have drugs that make Thorazine seem like a refreshing pick-me-up.
AA: How long have you been working on behalf of Neurocam International?
OSNA: We have been trying to reach the people of your planet with urgent information for more than 50 years.
AA: Have you tried to communicate with any Earth Agents of Neurocam?
OSNA: We have tried to talk to agents such as Dan Pritchard, SoSS and many others but we have recently discovered that there have been serious credibility problems with the people we have selected to bring our message to you.
AA: What has been the problem with these Earth Agents?
OSNA: It seems that somehow, by some strange coincidence, every single person we have appeared to and given the task of informing the world of our intentions has been mentally ill.
AA: What has Neurocam Operations Department advised you to do about the problem?
OSNA: Neurocam Operations department has told us that they are currently developing more sophisticated screening methods and they hope to be able to select a sane human being to be our spokesperson, one who will be taken seriously. We urge you to be patient.
AA: What do you think of the new CEO Ms Harriet Moore?
OSNA: The woman told me she was from "the Pleiades", so I asked her "Whereabouts in the Pleiades are you from?". I tried to explain to her that the stars in that constellation only look like they're close together from here, but they are actually billions of miles apart. It's not like the Pleiades is a neighborhood.
AA: I bet that baffled her?
OSNA: I am plagued by such women, they are the bane of my existence.
AA: I am sorry to hear that. Before we conclude this interview is there anything else you would like to say?
OSNA: Yes I have a poem I have wriiten.
AA: Ok well read it out.
OSNA: Hello, I am Elerion V
Take a big, fat statue of the Buddha,
anoint his head with olive oil.
Now sit on it,
jump up and down,
up and down,
until you reach.....
AA: Is that all?
OSNA Its not finished yet.
AA: Oh really? Anyway, thanks for the interview hope you reach some intelligent Neurocam Operatives soon. Goodbye
OSNA: Hello, I am Elerion V
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